Sunrise was a little less bright yesterday as my friend Janet Bagdy died peacefully while the sun edged over the horizon. Beautiful as she was, her loveliness reached deep into her spirit. She was kind and generous, smart, sweet and funny; the complete package most would say. This photo, taken at her daughter Jessica’s wedding last June, was a favorite of her sister Cathy’s. Janet raved about the fabulous time she’d had at the wedding, never once leaving the dance floor. It was the best gift a daughter could give a mother.
And last night I too was given a special gift. I dreamed about Janet. After my mom died, she also visited me quite frequently in my dreams. Such dreams are a wonderful way to still feel a connection to a loved one we’ve lost. Last night my dream was a series of vignettes, most of which I can’t remember, but in the last part we were on a beach together. She was laughing and happy. To me this symbolized her joy for being liberated from the disease that had ravaged her body.
Janet and I had that rare type of friendship ~ spanning four decades, and even when we were apart for years, when we’d reconnect we could pick right up where we left off. Our last visit was spent sharing memories, laughing at our crazy college antics, looking through old photos and listening to music from the late 70’s.
It was two weeks ago and though the visit only lasted a couple days, it was an incredibly meaningful time.
Janet had a fighting spirit and she fought valiantly, but when she made the difficult choice for hospice care, it was she who helped others by being so brave about the decision. She knew how fortunate she was to have such a loving and caring family who gathered around her, tending to her needs and offering love and comfort during her last months, weeks and hours. This is as much a tribute to them as it is to her. And although she was ready to go, and no one who loved her would have wanted her to suffer, she has left an incredible void in all our hearts.
As Cathy said last night, “I am so sad. I really want to hear her voice again.”
And I want to laugh with my friend on the beach again…
The night is bright with a starlit sky. I sit and think as time passes by, Oh starry night with a moonlit sky, take me away and tell me why. Give me a reason for love’s end, give me a reason for why I lost a friend. I sit and think all night. Author Unknown.
Loretta, What a lovely piece. Janet was so beautiful. I too, just leafed through many college pictures and she was really always happy, laid back, just a lot of fun. I actually sent her about a dozen of them with a note and hope that she was able to enjoy them and smile and laugh a little if she got them. I am happy the two of you were able to stay more in touch. What a great picture of you both at OU. Wow, such a long time ago. You have been a good friend to Janet.
Thanks Linda. She was so happy to have been back in touch with you, too…and she loved seeing the photos you sent! We had some awesome times at OU, didn’t we? Lots of fond memories. I’ve found some notes you sent to me which I’ll share with you soon. They will make you smile.
Loretta, what a caring reflection for a lovely woman and treasured friend. The beautiful smiles in the picture of the two of you brings a warm smile to all of us who share those special memories of our ’70 something college days.
Prayers, hugs, and my sincere sympathy to you, and each and every one of Janet’s loving family and friends.
There is indeed a star shining brighter down on each of you from the heavens and may you find comfort in knowing Janet wil forever be in your hearts and dreams.
Such lovely sentiments, Barb. And thank you…for you too are a treasured friend.
I know hard it is to lose someone you’ve known most of your life. Prayers of healing for those who loved Janet.
Thanks Diana. I will pass on your prayers.
Loretta, Just read about Janet & enjoyed seeing the college photo of you all. I think I might have met her at one time. What a beauty,
& when you mentioned her name 2 wks. ago in your email I was sure this must be the same girl. I don’t remember any conversation about her being sick. But that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t discussed being with Henrietta & you.
So glad you got to see her in those last moments. So sorry. Some great college days.
Had some memorable thoughts of Henrietta this
morning. Just thought of something I wanted her to know & wanted to call her.
Love to you & Geoff.
Yes…and I’m sure Greg met her as well during one of his visits to OU. Thank you for your lovely comments. And I truly do know what you mean. I am always reaching for the phone and wishing I could make the call. So many special people to long for to have back in our lives…
Love and hugs back to you.
Loretta, what a beautiful tribute. Thank you.
You were such a wonderful, loving supportive sister, Cathy. And so many people are going to miss her terribly.
Janet was such a beautiful woman – inside and out….just like her friend Loretta. So glad that you two had special time together several weeks ago. Such a blessing.
Loretta, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and Janet’s family during this extremely sad time. Love you.
It was a blessing to have had the visit. And thank you my dear friend for your kind and prayerful thoughts, which I will pass on to Janet’s family. Although sad to be losing an old friend, feeling blessed for my other treasured girlfriends.
Loretta…this tribute is beautiful; just like Janet. I am so happy to have had the special moments with Janet and you, two weeks ago to enjoy our memories of our Freshman year at OU…together. I still see her smile and hear her laugh from some of those memories and pictures we shared. Your words are so tender and comforting…at this very difficult time. It is never easy saying good bye. But thank you for honoring her with your amazing words.
We were so lucky to have had that time with her. Such wonderful memories we had. Thank you for sharing it with me…and for nursing me so I could actually make the visit. As I just said in a message to Janet’s daughter, she left this world knowing she was loved and admired. She was a gift to us all.
Thank you for this beautiful tribute, Loretta. My Mom enjoyed your visit so much and I always loved hearing stories from her college days. You were such a wonderful friend to her. Please keep her spirit alive in all of these fond memories!
There are plenty more to tell and I will love sharing them with you, Jessica. Her spirit will remain alive in all of those who loved her…and there are many. I’m so glad I had the chance to spend time with you. You were a shining star in her life.
I did not have the privilege to know Janet when she was well, but I had the honor of caring for her during her illness. She was a lovely woman and one I will not soon forget. I offer my sincere sympathies to her family and friends and will keep you all in my prayers for comfort during this sad time.
Thank you Amy, for offering your caring sentiments and for the compassionate and tender care you gave to Janet during her illness. I will pass on your thoughts and prayers to her family.
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Janet. It was so good to be able to see her again at our 40th reunion.
She will be missed.
How wonderful for her former classmates to have had the opportunity to spend time with her. She treasured her memories of days gone by. Thank you for sharing, Mel.
I am very sorry to hear of Janet’s passing. We graduated high school together and it is sad to lose a classmate so young and especially someone as full of life and joy as Jan. She did have such a beautiful smile and she hasn’t changed in 40 years! I am glad that we had time at our reunion to chat and catch up on our lives.
I’m sure she treasured those moments as well, Valerie.
Tears.